Weight

These last few months have been extremely difficult for me concerning my weight. I have always struggled with me weight and have been through many ups and downs. For as long as I can remember, I have been the heaviest of my friends and usually one of the biggest in the room. I tried my best to not let this effect me and feel like I have made the best of my size for the majority of my life. But lately I have allowed my weight to spiral out of control. Larges no longer fit and I had to buy a size 14 pant. I in no way want to insult anyone who is this size because many woman look beautiful at this size. Unfortunately I don't believe that I am one of them. I look in the mirror and see fat, my face is not one that I recognize and I cannot stand to remain unhealthy. I try to live a fairly active lifestyle, yet I find myself feeling uncomfortable in my workout clothes and becoming tired far sooner than I used to. I weigh 215 lbs and am extremely disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I blame a great deal of this on my laziness over the past winter; my unwillingness to go to the gym, never wanting to cook meals and instead going to restaurants. This is a very difficult thing for me to admit, I feel like revealing ones weight is difficult for a woman no matter what her size, but this is exactly why I am doing this. I need people to know because I can't keep letting things continue in the direction that they are going. Instead I need to stand up and say that I want to make a change but I need help staying accountable to myself.

Bucket List

Lately I have been feeling restless and am trying my best to figure out how to kill this feeling. So what I came up with is a bucket list. Really I just need something to keep me occupied and make me feel like I am accomplishing things.

1. Go rock climbing in Vedauwoo

2. Go mountain biking

3. Scuba dive

4. Lose 30 lbs

5. Get a colorful tattoo

6. Learn conversational Spanish

7. Get out of Credit Card debt

8. Perfect a soup recipe

9. Be a bridesmaid

10. Re-wear a bridesmaid dress

11. Plant a garden

12. Get on a "kiss cam"

13. Visit Europe

14. Visit South America

15. Visit all 50 states

16. Have a photo go viral

17. Ride bike to Colorado

18. Learn Burlesque

19. Get a stamp on my passport

20. Throw a "grown up" party

21. Learn to fish

22. Go fly fishing

23. Knit a sweater

24. Crochet a blanket

25. Swim in every ocean
26. Spend one week unplugged
27. Dance like no one is watching
28. Learn more sign language
29. Run 11 races in one summer
30. Run half marathon in 2 hrs and 45 minuets
31. Run 5k in under 30 minuets

An apology

We are getting ready for the end of a beautiful summer and the beginning of a long winter. It is only October and they are forecasting snow. I can't help but wonder why I moved to a place like this, and then I look out the second store window of Night Herring at the Old Buckhorn Bar and remember why I agreed to it. The first few weeks were extremely difficult but I am slowly beginning to feel more and more at home. I now have a favorite bar: The Ruffed Up Duck, a favorite diner: The Prairie Rose, a place to go to get cute birthday cards: Poppy, and I know where to got to get the best pizza: Crow Bar. And I have yet to kill my boyfriend, which is likely due in part to the fact that our schedules tend to conflict quite a bit. So Laramie, I owe you an apology. I came here thinking that you had nothing to offer me, only to realize that this is the first time in quite a long time that I feel at home.

Almost done

It has need a long, adventures and beautiful summer. But the leaves have started to change colors and the hail storms have started, which has given me a great deal of time to finally start cleaning up the trailer. And so that is what I have been doing for the last three days. I have done nine loads of laundry, made two trips to Walmart, two loads of dishes, washed the dog, filled five trash bags and vacuumed every room twice, but I must say the place looks good. And I am so close to being done. I have to say the bedroom looks good and I am finally willing to show off my room. Yes I made that headboard and yes, I did mount those antlers. .

And now I only have a little more to do in the living room, kitchen and laundry room, which should only take until next Tuesday

Changing

Almost 9 months ago, I left California for Colorado in search of adventure. During that time, I considered leaving at least once a week for the first three months. I was unemployed, didn't know where anything was, didn't know anyone and just felt completely alone. And then in one week, I met a boy and found a job that would do for the time being and became extremely happy. Life in Colorado was wonderful, but I began feeling restless. I have not lived in one place for longer than a year in six years, thanks to college, broken relationships and just a need for change, and that need hit again. So yesterday I put in my two week notice at work, put my room up on craigslist and began a mental note of all the things I need to sell in order to fit everything into my car to move in with my boyfriend in Laramie, WY. This is my story, a girl who spent the majority of 2006-2011 living in the major cities of California and is now moving to a state that has half the population of LA, and could not be more excited. So here we go again, finding a new job, learning my way around a new town, and trying to make new friends. Here is to a new adventure, another chapter, another challenge

Manic Monday

As usual, I am looking for ways to pass my monday. Luckily last night as I was driving home from Santa Barbara I happened to hear this on the radio and felt the need to share.

Design on a Dime

At the end of this month, I will be moving out of California to Colorado and I will have very little extra spending money. So in the next couple days I am going to have to come up with a budget to get me through the first few months possibly jobless. Also everything that is going to Colorado has to fit into my 92 Honda Accord Wagon, all the things that won't fit are gone. This means that I will not have a bed or a dresser. I have spent a great deal of the morning looking up ways to decorate the room on a tight budget and have come up with a few ideas. For instance, I like this idea of adding color to the room by using cheerful fabric as a cheap alternative to a headboard




And that is about all that I have come up with, other than painting the walls a sage green, light grey or a mauve color. Which I am sure my dad will be extremely happy about considering he is the one who will be helping me move and the one forced to help me paint