Weight

These last few months have been extremely difficult for me concerning my weight. I have always struggled with me weight and have been through many ups and downs. For as long as I can remember, I have been the heaviest of my friends and usually one of the biggest in the room. I tried my best to not let this effect me and feel like I have made the best of my size for the majority of my life. But lately I have allowed my weight to spiral out of control. Larges no longer fit and I had to buy a size 14 pant. I in no way want to insult anyone who is this size because many woman look beautiful at this size. Unfortunately I don't believe that I am one of them. I look in the mirror and see fat, my face is not one that I recognize and I cannot stand to remain unhealthy. I try to live a fairly active lifestyle, yet I find myself feeling uncomfortable in my workout clothes and becoming tired far sooner than I used to. I weigh 215 lbs and am extremely disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I blame a great deal of this on my laziness over the past winter; my unwillingness to go to the gym, never wanting to cook meals and instead going to restaurants. This is a very difficult thing for me to admit, I feel like revealing ones weight is difficult for a woman no matter what her size, but this is exactly why I am doing this. I need people to know because I can't keep letting things continue in the direction that they are going. Instead I need to stand up and say that I want to make a change but I need help staying accountable to myself.