Weight

These last few months have been extremely difficult for me concerning my weight. I have always struggled with me weight and have been through many ups and downs. For as long as I can remember, I have been the heaviest of my friends and usually one of the biggest in the room. I tried my best to not let this effect me and feel like I have made the best of my size for the majority of my life. But lately I have allowed my weight to spiral out of control. Larges no longer fit and I had to buy a size 14 pant. I in no way want to insult anyone who is this size because many woman look beautiful at this size. Unfortunately I don't believe that I am one of them. I look in the mirror and see fat, my face is not one that I recognize and I cannot stand to remain unhealthy. I try to live a fairly active lifestyle, yet I find myself feeling uncomfortable in my workout clothes and becoming tired far sooner than I used to. I weigh 215 lbs and am extremely disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I blame a great deal of this on my laziness over the past winter; my unwillingness to go to the gym, never wanting to cook meals and instead going to restaurants. This is a very difficult thing for me to admit, I feel like revealing ones weight is difficult for a woman no matter what her size, but this is exactly why I am doing this. I need people to know because I can't keep letting things continue in the direction that they are going. Instead I need to stand up and say that I want to make a change but I need help staying accountable to myself.

Bucket List

Lately I have been feeling restless and am trying my best to figure out how to kill this feeling. So what I came up with is a bucket list. Really I just need something to keep me occupied and make me feel like I am accomplishing things.

1. Go rock climbing in Vedauwoo

2. Go mountain biking

3. Scuba dive

4. Lose 30 lbs

5. Get a colorful tattoo

6. Learn conversational Spanish

7. Get out of Credit Card debt

8. Perfect a soup recipe

9. Be a bridesmaid

10. Re-wear a bridesmaid dress

11. Plant a garden

12. Get on a "kiss cam"

13. Visit Europe

14. Visit South America

15. Visit all 50 states

16. Have a photo go viral

17. Ride bike to Colorado

18. Learn Burlesque

19. Get a stamp on my passport

20. Throw a "grown up" party

21. Learn to fish

22. Go fly fishing

23. Knit a sweater

24. Crochet a blanket

25. Swim in every ocean
26. Spend one week unplugged
27. Dance like no one is watching
28. Learn more sign language
29. Run 11 races in one summer
30. Run half marathon in 2 hrs and 45 minuets
31. Run 5k in under 30 minuets